March 21

What an exciting Saturday. After visiting the tanning booth I sat at home and watched a rerun of Cheaters. I haven't been to the tanning salon since they were beds that closed over you like an oyster shell. These booths are much better, I don't come out looking like a candy cane. You just stand in the middle and hold onto overhead straps so your tan is nice & uniform. Everyone preaches at me that they cause cancer, but I don't think once or twice for a base tan ever hurt anyone. It's not like I'm going every day like those people on Jersey Shore or anything. I just don't want to look pasty and sickly when I'm standing under the overhead lights at the gym. Some of my fellow gym rats are so dark they look like they own their own tanning booths and I think some of them do. Perhaps I'll buy one of those Gym, Tan, Laundry t-shirts now that I've subscribed to the narcissist lifestyle.